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Friday, January 21st, 2005

Subject:SO you can take that cookie and .....
Time:11:23 pm.
Mood: nostalgic.
Yea's friday ... I'm alone ..bored ...horny .. confused ....

But isnt it weird that the more i ask someone questions .n they answer ..more I'm confused

And the more someone tells me they love me the more unsure I am of their true feelings and emotions

And for all the ex's who been poppin up lately .... the title is for ju

Wanna cookie ?
Comments: 2 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Thursday, January 20th, 2005

Subject:hmm k wow
Time:5:11 am.
Alot has happened in last week ..... lets review

There are scattered posts about my ex Lady J ...... This girl was everything to me she's popped up again ... n i dont know what to make of it at all ... because this time she mroe ... i dunno confusing then ever since we've broken up ...she tells me she loves me .. sends to download songs about how we're destine to be together ..... i just dont get it .. i need to just get sum guts n ask her str8 out wht she wants ...but i'm scared kaz i'm enjoyin this way too much i mean we spoke for 9 hours ..str8 the other night joke .... i dont do that with anyone ..ever ...expect maybe mobuisstrip ..but ..he rocks lol

kinda calmed down from the drama of last week .... i dont care ..i'm fine ..always am ... always will be ..I'm stronger than anyone realizes ..even myself ..

anyways i gotta get ready for court ...yea ..court ... I'll explain that later
Comments: 1 Spank - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Wednesday, January 12th, 2005

Subject:*rubbing my tummy*
Time:7:10 pm.
Mood: depressed.
God yesterday was a stressfull horrid day terms of weather ... events ... life in general

I hadnt slept in 48 hrs n had to take my cousin to an appt at 8 in morning .. n i couldnt even breakfast kaz she wanted to mcd's n i dont eat breakfast from well actually i rarely eat breakfast from anyone

Then i had to ride all the way to far rockaway ..where i manage to freeze off 1 and a half nipples in her doorways while she fiddled with her keys .. n preceeded to freeze while she slept in living with blankets n i slept in fetal postion cold ..blah

Then i had to take her back to Brooklyn for anthor appt this was sprung on my ..a starving ..hormonal frozen pregnant woman ....lets just say my reaction wasnt ..quiet to say the least ...

Then my aunt once she picks us up has the nere to get snippy when itell i want something to eat after i just finished taking her child around ny . on no sleep or food ! .. that convo was short lived and i was soon fed

i then went home to bad cramping n killer migrane for whic i can take no medication .. so i just cried quietly in living till my friend calls me inform me that while i'm going through the joys of pregnancy he's in mall spending money on this bald no tits no ass heifer which isnt what upsets me but you (meanign him ) have the nerve to ask me no to be with anyone during prenancy .. u want me to this that ... meanwhiel u cant evn get me the fresh fruit i asked u for but u got time n money to go to mall on a shitty ass day with anthor shorty while i'm in major pain ..well ... lets just say i wont be the only one in pain for long once i catch up with him

And for the record let me state why i am no longer with said ex because :

1. Things like this ..he's a fucking liar ..constantly .. abotu any little thing i dont want to deal with it anymore .. he lies about stupid stuff also .. not even the big stuff that i'm sweating it's liek the silliest shit

2. He supposedly hit on my cousin both have opposing stories of course i chose not to deal with it but as this ame out when we were already about to break up ... it's the anvil that broke the camels back yanno

3. When i just asked for some time he let me kno that he wanted nothing to do with me fine .. i informed him that i was possibly pregnant he said lemme kno when i was postive .. i did he didnt want it then he did on the stipulation that i be with him ... but we still have same issues as before he cant tell the THRUTH to save himself ... he's always telling lies and i cant abide by that so i told him till we cleared up our issues we werent getting back togther and why couldnt we just concentrate on the cild to which he told me if we couldnt be together he didnt want the child .. i said fine .. i'd have his parental rights papers for him to sign at hospital ..that i wanted no games to be played with my child u cant just decide to pop in whenever its convient to your schedule .i had a father like that ..every couple of years isnt good enuf.

He popped up for first itme in 3 months last week speaking on how he wanted to be there for our child etc etc .. i told him how difficult this pregnancy has been i've been sick majority of the time these 5 month very sick .. he doesnt check up on me .. do anythign for me n hes' supposed to be living 4 hours away from here so there lies my anger in wtf is going here ... you cant be bothered to check in on me ..bring me a fuckin apple ... or call do anything .. and you lie for the 30000000time about your whereabotus and u wanna argue with me about u takig MY child upstate i'll be damned u cant tell me the truth about where you at when ur on your own .. how do i know u wont run away with my child .. and he's spoken about doing this before ...

I'll do this on my own i have support even though i feel very lonely .. i will survive as cliche as it sounds .. for my child .. for myself .. no matter how hard and painful it is.. i will give birth to healthy child i will sacrifce life n limb for it .. and god help him if he gets in my way again
Comments: I've been bad. Spank me?.

Monday, January 10th, 2005

Subject:She's back
Time:1:08 am.
Mood: contemplative.
Well kinda ..sorta yea .. i should be back ..with regularity actually ..if theres anyone whoo still even remembers me ...

Anyways ....Let's have a refresher course

I am currently a 22 yr old former cam/pic girl ... graphic artist ... nutcase ... whiner

also *drumroll*

I'm pregnant now ... betcha didnt see that coming huh ..pero si senor .. almost 5 motnhs now ..n it's b een a difficult one at that

plenty of other stuff thats happened but i truely dont want to get into those things now ... J isnt the father we broke up soon after my last posts on here .....

I am no longer with the father though ... more on that in later post ... (its by my choice not his )

i think i'm a little lonely lately .. lost in my head so i figure getting it out there in a new year may help ....
Comments: 5 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Monday, June 16th, 2003

Subject:Happy Happy birrthday baby..
Time:8:23 am.
Happy birthday Jazzy dice ... your 21 .....n no one seems to really care ......

This is gonna be one lonely birthday me thinks
Comments: 10 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Thursday, June 5th, 2003

Time:4:48 pm.
Mood: artistic.
i made a new back ground ...isn't it perti ... i'm gonna try to knock one out for azpics .... i made this one as a temporary for this journal but i'm really digging it ...still red and black ....those are just the colors i feel when i writing. anyways lemme know what you all think .... i really wanna know ...

and yes she's supposed to look cartoony ..yes she has only 4 fingers and yes shes damn sexy
Comments: 1 Spank - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Monday, May 26th, 2003

Subject:"do you know where your going to ? "
Time:1:50 am.
Mood: numb.
sometime i wonder if i'm bi polar .. but then again shouldnt' everybody be .. isnt' all ife a serious of upand down .. moutains high and valley lows ...... serous of gleeful distant memories and fresh scrapes and bruises

Things between J and i are rather weird right now ..not sure ... we're definetly breaking new ground when we speak lately ..he's opening up more i'm rambling less and just kinda baring it all .. i told him during our last convo i was afraid of losign him .. he ( and this took me by not even surprise ..SHOCK ) that he was mroe afraid of losign me ... now this may not seem like a big thing .. i mean 9 months u think this is small think but no .. between J and i whom haven't even said i love you out loud to each other ( thats anthor entry ) it's a big thing ....

In other news ... i've been making the rounds .. applying ot more modeling assignemnts and getting good feedback .. hopefully all will be well i'll be a porn star by end of summer ... i'm joking ...maybe sorta =)

I finially got sex though ..... but omg why was everyone of my exs calling or iming that day for a booty call and of course then j calls kaz it musta been booty call day and no one tells me!!

I feel kinda empty and alone right now ...
Comments: 3 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Tuesday, May 20th, 2003

Time:6:11 pm.
Mood: melancholy.
today sucks

News at 11

LAst nytte i go to hang out this is guy i've been seeing for about 9 months ..nothing offical yet ... but kinda basically everything but bf & gf
so anyways .. he's going around chit chatitng ot everyone but me right so i'm all hyperd up on candy becausei had eaten real food so i figured candy was best engery ... but i have a sugat problem i get very hyper and chatty so i start chatting with a friend of his to be fair ...said friend is goodlooking charming ..nice funnyt and we click ... but also said friend has girl .. is my lover's friend and I dunno in truth i've started fallign in love with J (yes anthor J ... i really need to move on .. to k l m o pppp anything ... but i seem to be stuck on J ) and thought i could be attracted to any number of countless guys .. i'm a firm believer in that onyl thing that keeps a person from cheating is that THEY dont want to's nto lack of oppertunity nor location nothing .. and i dont cheat simply because i dont want to ........He is the only one i want ..and when that changes i'll have no need to cheat because then it's just time to part ways ...

so anyways ... before i went off track i'm talking to this guy right .. then w eall decide to head down to local park so we're walking and i walked over to J and i said something .. dont remebver just what and he's all well why are you talkign to me ..why dont you talk to your new boy james i'm all wtf ... now i'm kinda tripping i'm like just kaz i talk to him your gonna act up .... but i gotta tell you the honest truth .......... iiiiiiiittttttt felt gggggggooooooooodddddddd i mean great got damn good to know he got jealous because he's mad me jealou s on purpose for months on end .. just to test me and mess with me and such and it also means he cares ... i'm not just a lay or just some chick ...

anways he spent rest of nyte slowly making up but he still seemed annoyed with me but i mean okay u want me to get along with your friends but then get mad at me when their attracted ti me or have crushes on me and it's all me me me ... i wanna cheat .. i 'm making them like me ... i'm wearing wrong things ... blah ......

I'll go more into detail later .. me tummy hurts .. should go lie down .. ciao
Comments: 2 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Sunday, May 18th, 2003

Time:3:54 pm.
I'M back again ..s o to speak ... i think i'm boiling over with emtions and it's time to release again my wrath ..whining ..self rightous rants upon unssuspecting folks on lj .. i've really missed you all actually ... tiems i've sat .. wishing i had something to write ... though so much has happened in my life and changed i could not find a way to put it on paper ... or maybe it was just to put it out ther e.... i've become reculsive with my pain and fustration like never before ... and it's causing me to act out ... i need to force all of it out before i end up doing something impossibly stupid ..... so bare with me one more time ........if anyone still even reads this thing .....

Hang on to you hats ....... It's gonna be a bumpy journal
Comments: 4 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Friday, August 23rd, 2002

Time:2:14 pm.
Mood: gloomy.
Sept 11 is coming again it will every year ... ..almost wish had the power to bleep it out of calander and memory
and i feel like sucha pussy for not being able to read thru stories and watch footage without breaking down
I'm a very sensitive girl .. hyper sensitive ..i pride my self on having devolped a tuff outer shell to protect me ...
but it feel like when it comes to that subject with the towers came down all sensibility .. i love reading and watching the news but i cant' go thru a story with tears ..

I don't know ...I'd like to think i have more strentgh than th ..that enuf time has passed to deal ...but maybe it's all only just begun to sink in ..

I know we want to memorialize ..and never forget what happened ..and those lives lost ...but right now i just wish sept 11 would drop off calender ..
Comments: 4 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Thursday, August 15th, 2002 really i swear i answered honestly
Time:8:17 am.
Mood: amused.

boob job

boob joob

Do *You* Need A Boob Job?

round ass

You Have a Round Ass!

All the guys think that you're a cutie.

That's thanks to your ghetto booty.

You've got a ass that looks like it's black.

And color doesn't matter, because baby got back.

What Ass Do *You* Have??

Which Sex and the City Vixen Best Matches Your Sex Style?

and i did answer honestly but i knew what i would get ....hell everytime we watch Sex in city my brother points out my similarities to sam ..
and of course everyone knows i got t &a on lock down =)~

Comments: 1 Spank - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Wednesday, August 14th, 2002

Subject:le sigh ..le wee
Time:6:03 pm.
Mood:just a friend ....
i'm so hhhhooooooooootttttttttttt no really's feels like 100 out here i'm baking

and heat m akes me horny =( no fair ... i know ur saying everything makes u horny damn dice .......but ummm so that's a good thing isn't it ?

Dudes have been telling me lately that i'm too good for them .. and i dunno i think i'm really down to earth ..even if several ppl who know me VERY VERY well ..uninamously agreed i act uppity ..and since they all act upiity and love it they dont' see it as bad thing ..but i think i'm cool .. i dunno am i approachable?? .. or do i ward the good ones of??f .. and thats why only the ditzes ever bother .... le sigh ...le weee

i posted pics again in Azpics and usual comms

and someone kick my but into gear on starting my new art site ... no really go ahead .... kaz i'm seriosuly slacking lately ..but i can't figure out what it is i'm doing while i'm snacking ..time just seems to float bye le sigh ... le wee

oh and i met this realy cool guy .. things going really slowly ..which is cool ....he's italian ( to quote my cousin "You and them damn white boyz!") ANYWAYS ... but he acts more ghetto than i do at times lol ... but he's a major sweet herat and seems genuwinly intrested and has his shit together ... all of which it's far too good to be true and there is sum major flaw in front of my face that i'm missing ..

thats enuff for noow ..ciao ciao
Comments: 3 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Thursday, August 8th, 2002

Subject:blah blah blah ..blah blah ...blah blah
Time:12:32 am.
Mood: indescribable.
i know i said i'd start writing again ..but it takes awhile ot ease back in ..anyways .. i've been busy iwt my art ( i plan on posting more in here ... and changing background once again ..and the bg on azpics asap) I got modeling gig wit benefits ...and oh i might be pregnant .... or lest this is what ci says ... sseeeeeeeeeee i kinda had nookie on my bday with an ex one whom i certainly dont' wanna have a kid wit but i opened my legs so i gotta take responsiblity for whatever comes out anyways

if it's not that .. i dunno what it is i'm nasous all time ..migraines ..tired .. my mother smoking with norally just makes me lil quesy made me throw up ... could just be my nerves ..when i'm jumpy as evident by past post my body tends to wig out on it own ..

moving along

Things to do :
Find someone willing to cuddle ... not looking for how did ci put it ..vaginal stimulation .. i want to be held .. i need to be held ... hasn't happened in very long while

Go out more ...been doing this lately ...working okay

Go tackle Mobuis and make him stay up late talking to me again

Dance nakid after summer thunderstorm

Post more pics .. (of self and art)

try to slow down and enjoy me myself and i

ciao ciao
Comments: 3 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Saturday, August 3rd, 2002

Subject:Back by popular demand ...k no for real this time ...
Time:4:07 am.
White satin

White satin Collapse )
Comments: 5 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Monday, July 15th, 2002

Subject:"I am Dice's pent up Life"
Time:11:21 pm.
Mood: happy.

K now that that's done

Where have i been you ask ??
where seems there was a life waiting to pounce on my soon as i left my house ...things have been moving so fast last few weeks ... gotten lot better wit my art

Let's condese what's happened and you guys if u even still read my journal can let me know what you want me to expand upon

Got accused of murdering a baby
Frolicked on the bead for 2 days (got photos of that )
Got into ghetto brawl at baby shower
Got sudden inspiration been wearing skists ..dresses ..and mix and match my wardrobe much better
Danced the last dance
been approach by men older than my father
discussed my modlestation with my mother in depth for first time
and last but not least ...i'm like this close to really truely starting to model

and dispite all the bad
in the words of Aneesa
I'm soo happy
Comments: 2 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Wednesday, July 3rd, 2002

Subject:my neck back my ........ just like that or "I'm goin tostick this popsicle where ??"
Time:11:29 am.
Mood: crazy.
It's come to my attention a lil misrepresentation ..girl in pic is my cousin not my ex .. my ex is a 5'11 blonde former model white girl (thats right thats how i pimp ! =)~ ) ... my cousin(girl in the picture)is 5'8 pr/black pimp mama in training !

speaking of which
i am

what sexual performer are you?
Comments: 2 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Subject:Strike a pose ! ... or midgets on parade
Time:4:27 am.
Mood: pensive.
I'm wearing 4 in heels and the lil giant is still taller than me ..what do they feed these childern now adays !!
your getting very sleepy

A full body scanned in pic of me doesn't come along very often so soak it all in =)~

Why havent' i been writing lately ..busy busy busy bee ... but party of me worries that i didn't make my self busy on purpose ..lemme explain

I wrote earlier bout makeing a pact wit devil aka caramelswirl to email Lady J(my ex-girlfriend) i did ..and she respond wit her # to call her .. i was or maybe i just made my self busy that week but too busy to call till i saw her onlien adn she told me she missed me ..and called me love .. i call her sometime that following week she wasnt' home ..and then i called her again tonight ... God it's good to hear her voice and just speak with her .. i mean it's like tall drink of water in dessert man ... this girl was first love ..bestest friend .. amazon goddess all in one .... and though i no longer worship at her feet ... and i won't say i dont' feel the love kaz i do but it's not the same ... i still want her ot be my best friend i mean we talked almost as if nothing had happened time had past .. i'M even cool wit her having this new girl .. (diff from one woh called me and we got into big arguemetn ) but umm she wants to come up to nyc or me go down there so we can all hang .. i'm like no ... hell she wants to move up here .. i'm still like no ... ...she wants me to call her again ... what od i do .. i'm at a crossroads ...

She's sending weird mixed signals ....but shoudl i even care .. do i wanna go down this well beaten path'll never be what it once was .. i realize that ....

or do i wanna make way for new lover ... truely open myself ot someone and give them all of me ..which is so hard in and of it self for various reasons ... hopefully this J 4th will give much need rest and relaxation ..maybe hopefully lil clarifaction .. thughts ..advice .. speechs ..specially hugs and snuggles welcome ...
Comments: 5 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Thursday, June 27th, 2002

Subject:nothing like waking up wit Python
Time:5:45 am.
Mood: awake.
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.
Comments: 2 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Monday, June 24th, 2002

Time:9:56 am.
Mood: artistic.
okay i gave the whole Journal completely new look .. sorta
new background ,alignment and scroll bar but the theme of red and blck sill reigns ....

Bg is a lil gothic a lil vamp ...all woman so enjoy and lemme know how it looks ppppppplllllleeaaaaaaassssssseeeee *puppy eyes*

your getting very sleepy
Comments: 3 Spanks - I've been bad. Spank me?.

Sunday, June 23rd, 2002

Subject:"don't this here make my ppl wanna "
Time:5:27 pm.
Mood: peaceful.
i know ya'll have been hanging on edge of ur seats wondering where i as this past week right ?

well i'll cover details later but ummmmm quick summery

Getting cousin's hair done
getting my nails and her hair doe
working on art for 2 days
taking care of dear ol grannie
and now i'm home though i'll prolly be busy agaain mon & tues

i'm so tired but god ...beach is so much fun wasn't even there too long got there late afternoon but umm i was doing flips and cartwheels and splits in the water and it felt good ..and right and i was dancing .. and for a moment in time was good
Comments: I've been bad. Spank me?.

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